Father's Day and Feminism

Sunday, June 18 was Father’s Day. It was the first time I would really celebrate it with my small family and I was anxious to set up a few traditions that would last a generation. After a weekend camping trip, we came home and hurried ourselves to prepare for church. Mother’s Day is a HUGE day of celebration at church. Women of all ages and adoring sons, stand at the pulpit to pontificate on the necessary qualities of being a “Mother in Zion.” Unfortunately, the day is rife with statements such as, “My mother was wonderful, she was never sick” or, this years winner “When I was younger I always focused on my career, now that I want children I see that I have no talents that would have properly prepared me for motherhood.” Clearly, being a mother in Zion means you are healthy and that regardless of the personal traits, education, and character you have developed, you are not a proper mother if you do not sew, cook, or keep a home well. I won’t even mention what indications are given to women who have no children. Fortunately, however, you do have the occasional talk that honors true motherhood: love, charity, knowledge and a Christ-like example.

Father’s Day, however is a different story. I anticipated similar talks, daughters expressing gratitude to daddy’s who adore them, single men preparing to be father’s someday discussing traits of that great calling, and grown men offering sentiments about their own father’s and being a father. However, this was far from what would actually occur. The talks from the pulpit praised the value of early morning seminary. Not one mentioned a Father, Heavenly or mortal.

As the talks went on I became increasingly offended. The message being sent to the entire congregation was two fold: the significance of Father’s in the home was minimal and the only manner in which the value of womanhood is extolled is in relation to motherhood. My daughter’s father is an integral part of her life. He rocks her in his arms when she is hurt, he makes sure she has food in the house, among many other, even more important tasks. He is both a nurturer and a provider. Sadly, his traits were not honored. Neither were those of a busy Bishop who manages the ward full time, his job, and a daughter in high school, nor the father of six who takes his sons with him to Home Teach every month. The only “shout out” these Fathers received was a sucker bouquet and a talk that informs them of everything they are doing wrong.

Not only does this lack of appreciation under value the significant role of fathers, it overemphasizes the role of the woman in the home. Men must be busy in fulfilling their bureaucratic church duties, while the wife is to be at home, tending to the matters of the family. Any “murmuring” on her part is because she does not understand that he has a higher call he is filling. This limited point of view is the lazy man’s version of our culture and gospel. In a very real sense a man’s place, as much as the woman, is in the home. With so much conversation in recent years on the degradation of the family, one would hope a greater understanding with regard to a two parent household would be facilitated. Instead, the role of a woman continues to be typecast and the definition of marriage is the topic of discussion. Numerous academic studies indicates that for children who lack a significant male presence in the home, more have statistically lower income, lower grades, and lower self-esteem, as well as a decreased ability to communicate in contrast to homes where the mother is the absentee parent. Perhaps as we continue to emphasize the family we will actively recognize it as consisting of two parents and show each part of the entity its due honor and praise.

The most anticipate Baby Pictures

I finally found some! Sadly, I can barely get a good look at the baby, but I think it was another brilliant PR move by the Jolie-Pitt camp to deliver the baby by cesarean. The child has so much expectation to be gorgeous that a conehead with yoda-like skin would receive ridicule like unto Chelsea Clinton.

Dieting Hell

A woman recently unearthed 1974 Weight Watchers recipe cards. With culinary treats such as mackrel pudding, and a slender quencher (containing a combination of milk and orange pulp) is it any wonder there is an aversion to "dieting"?

Pretty in Pink

Each year about this time I experience a giddy excitement, attributed only to the idea that this might be the year that Jan Ullrich again claims the Maillot Jeune. However, this year's tour course (scroll down the page a bit for an interactive map) seems to be designed for the Kaiser. Day one is in Strasbourg. In typical French fashion, the website boasts the prowess of ever-young Tommy Voelker carrying on the tradition of hope in the Alsace region. However, I believe it is safe to say the sea of T-Mobile pink tee shirts in Alsace will be akin to the orange Basque sea when the tour is in the southern regions. I do not believe the tour in Strasbourg will celebrate the strength of France as it did 100 years ago, but this time, the Germans will be the victors.

POTUS v. Oprah

I would like to know who is advising the President. Is it any wonder that his ratings are at a historic low? A prime time address during SWEEPS!!!!!!!! Someone needs to resign over this (because no one is fired in this administration). He is knocking off Oprah's Legend Ball, Grey's Anatomy (a top 5 nationaly rated tv show) has a two hour season finale, Prison Break also has the season finale tonight. This scheduling is a prime example of beltway mentality, because of course the entire nation wants to drop evertything to hear him talk about patroling the borders and workers permits. While the nation will care about immigration at the ballots in November, tonight...well tonight they really only care about what happens to Preston Burke and Denny Duquette!

Prom Revisited

Eleven years ago I went to the senior prom. I wanted to go with a boy I had crushed on ever since Freshman year. The day before he was going to ask me (or so the story was related to me through friends) my friend's brother asked me to go. I was devastated. Sure, I was going to prom, but he didn't like me and I didn't like him (that way). Many tears were shed over the weeks that followed. I was so grateful prom night was over, and vowed I would never cry over prom again. I have broken that promise twice. The first time was the sunday after prom. Local tradition mandated a wearing of the dress to church. I was happy to do this as I thought the dress was GORGEOUS (see previous blog entry Question du jour). But my date went to church with me, and instead of sitting with his family, he came and sat by me. I was humiliated and cried that night...again.

The second time was this morning, while reading the Washington Post. I came across a story I had seen in People magazine and on CNN,but to which I had never really paid any attention, chalking it up as "Fluff". It was the story of a local DC teenager who collected 2800 prom dresses for highschool seniors living in areas devastated by Hurricane Katrina. This is the kind of story that makes you love being a girl.

Entertainment news

Here are a few fun finds I located while surfing the web today.

• Aberdeen, Washington was chosen as the winner of a MI3 premiere screening with Tom Cruise in attendance. A local home furnishings store donated a couch for a jumping contest, but Paramount pictures forced the locals to intervene because it wasn't nice.
• The West Wing will air a repeat of the first episode this Sunday, prior to airing the series finale, because the cast and executives could come to an agreement on pay for a retrospective episode.
• "Oops I Did it Again!" and "Hit Me Baby One More Time" become eerily prophetic as Brit announced officially on David Letterman that she has another bun in the oven. Say it with me one more time, "You can take the girl out of the trailor, but you can't take the trash out of the girl."
• In more Cruise news, Nicole Kidman admits she still loves Cruise and Keith Urban calls off the Tahiti wedding. President Bush's approval ratings are at 31%, whereas Tom Cruise's are at 34% according to a recent Gallup Poll.
• I think I heard that Heather Locklear is back with ex Tommy Lee. So what was the deal with David Spade?

J to the L-O!!

The top ten reasons I love JLo:
1. She made me want to be both a "Fly Girl" and a lawyer at age 10.
2. Let's get loud!
3. Selena
4. She dated Puffy
5. She had Puffy direct music videos for her
6. She went to Puffy parties
7. STYLE...bedazzled do-rags and jumpsuits ala Elvis
8. She dumped Ben Affleck
9. Boo-tay!
10...and something I was completely unaware of until now, she is a SILVER FOX too!!

Top Ten Reads

Every year as summer approaches I find that everyone is looking for books to read. These are my recommendations of books one should read for pure enjoyment, some are literary genius and others are simply a riotous good time.
1. Anna Karenina – Leo Tolstoy. This book is THE example of perfect literature, there is nothing missing and nothing in excess.
2. East of Eden – James Steinbeck. This novel will make you think about the traditional story of the creation and Cain and Abel in a new light. You will find yourself sympathizing for Cain and feeling more attached to him than his younger, kinder brother.
3. Snow – Orhan Pamuk. The most beautiful work of modern literature I have read. Pamuk addresses the current tensions of western culture and Islam, demonstrating the volatile clashes that erupt as the two attempt to co-exist in a small Turkish border town.
4. The Poisonwood Bible – Barbara Kingsolver. The characters are developed so well that the author can change voice without warning and you will know which of the four girls is speaking to you at that moment. I didn’t want it to end, but I really didn’t want it to end like it did.
5. Life of Pi – Inspires hope and leaves you thinking about reality.
6. Girl in Hyacinth Blue – Susan Vreeland. Demonstrates in literature the various meanings a work of art can have for multiple individuals.
7. The Time Traveler’s Wife – Audrey Niffenegger. Explores love as a timeless, eternal experience without bounds, conquering death and weak character.
8. Truman Capote – you’ve seen the movie, now read the masterpieces. I have always loved short stories, but after reading his I feel I had never really read them as a form of art before.
9. Something Borrowed – Emily Griffin. Take it to the beach with you this summer, you will not be bored!
10. Confessions of a Shopoholic – Sophie Kinsella. A must read for anyone who has chosen a new sweater over groceries, ignored bills in the mail, and chosen not to balance the checkbook.

To See or Not To See

To see or not to see, that is the question. There has been the now infamous couch jumping on Oprah (which I had on tv at work and watched with a Congressman), the bitter battle with Brooke, and the scientology jokes and rumored brain washing. Just today in fact, I heard a $40 million pre-nup agreement has been arranged with Katie Holmes, she gets more if she has more children.

We all deal with Tom Cruise's antics in our own ways. One woman in our carpool is boycotting him, a California state delegate introduced a "Cruise bill" that will prohibit the sale of an ultrasound machine to anyone other than a licensed medical professional (if you will remember, he bought one for Katie), I changed his Top Ten, lifetime number 1 spot to a much less respectable "Emeritus Status."

But even so, my heart stopped when I saw a preview for M:I:3. All the memories of watching Mission Impossible for the first time came flooding back, bringing with it a wave of emotions. You see, for me, movie stars are a very personal experience and I have very emotional attachments to their careers. Their great mystique is only further solidified by the fact that the only "celebrity" I have ever met is John Peter Lewis. Most remembered, well only remembered, as JPL: a season 3 Americal Idol non-winner. It was so exciting, I blushed and didnt know what to say.

But now, he BUGS. I mean he REALLY BUGS. But I haven't been so excited to see a movie since War of the Worlds, and before that Collateral, and before that the Last Sammurai...I think you see the trend. So here is my question, can I despise the man and ADORE the film star? Can I keep the persona seperate from the movies? Because I just dont feel comfortable with having anyone else on my number one spot. He is THE one.

I love him. Well him Ethan Hunt, Jerry Maguire, Maverick, Joseph Donnelly, Cole Trickle... you get the point.

I love the 80's

As a child of the 80's I have a great appreciation for leg warmers, the claw, and jelly bracelets. I love catching the nationally syndicated 80's radio broadcasts and just bought OMD's greatest hits (Tesla Girls is a personal favorite) as well as a few Wham songs on ITunes.

I loved Star Wars and couldn't wait for the prequels to be released. I always watched the news broadcasts of the fanatic Star Wars cult followers, but never thought they existed. I work in a cubical next to one now. It is phenomenal. As I write he is telling me all about the VHS, Laser Disc, and DVD releases of Star Wars (apparently the original version, as seen in theatres, will finally be released on DVD in September). He has 12 boxes of "action figures", I use the term lightly as the one that he just received is the Muppets news anchorman. Now that he has it unpacked and displayed on this desk I realize...it is pretty cool. In a "I am a classic IT nerd" kind of way.

AngloMania

I can't wait to visit this new exhibit at the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Me, the Material Girl and the Met together in June. I can't wait.

Day Club Revisited

As I plan to renew my membership in the Day Club, I have been looking at opportunities to enjoy everything Paris has to offer. With two years, and very careful planning, I am optimistic I can be the ULTIMATE tourist. Just today in fact, I found this list of heretofore closed museums that are opening this spring and summer.

The best aspect of being a member of the Day Club is the capacity one has to fill up "units of time" so completely as to be left wondering how there would ever be time to work. (For those of you unfamiliar with the specific measurement of a unit of time, please see Hugh Grant in "About a Boy.") In Paris, I believe this will become even more true.

At one point, I insisted to a friend that I would have one morning a week dedicated to Museums (4 units of time), another to shopping (2-4 units), and another to a tourist attraction (3 units) not yet visited. I would spend the early afternoon hours shopping in the local grocers market buying food for that evening (1 unit of time). I would take the little one home for an afternoon nap (hopefully 4 units), and prepare dinner (2 units). To me, it seemed the perfect day-- the perfect use of my units of time. Of course the friend scoffed at my good intentions. "Does it ever rain in your Paris?" she asked. Why do the French close their museums and stores for rain!! Good thing for me, Boston Legal's first season comes out on DVD May 23. Apparently, there would be nothing for me to do on rainy days in Paris otherwise.

American Consumerism

"The American consumer is the one that needs the break today."--Senator Thune.

"The American consumer is the one who needs to TAKE a break today."--Me.

Soccer Mom's and SUVs

The radio show I listen to every morning insisted on interviewing a woman who just spent $77 dollars on a tank of gas. "How can Exxon do this? They had record profits last year" "That is a week's worth of groceries" "Highway Robbery!" "This is ridiculous, I can't afford this!!" These were all her comments.

She owns a 2006 Toyota Landcruiser. "I have to have it. I have four children. I have to have an SUV for safety." She filled her tank with 22 gallons, and admitted to getting only 11mpg, 25 if she is on a long stretch of highway. The hosts sympathized with her, "Of course you have to have an SUV! How will your family ever survive with these prices."

Can I reiterate...she owns a 2006 Toyota Landcruiser. That means she bought the beast, in all likelyhood, following the gas spikes that hit the pumps after Hurricane Katrina.

I would like to drop kick that soccer mom for claiming, along with 69% of the nation, that the gas prices had created a hardship for her family. A new 2006 Landcruiser...how will they ever survive!

Chicklit...My SSB Lives On

Any Sex and the City fan will know the SSB reference: Secret Single Behavior. Carrie Bradshaw admits to eating a large stack of saltine crackers drenched in jelly while standing in the kitchen reading fashion magazines, something she would never want a boyfriend to know she did. Mine was less dramatic, I would snuggle up in bed with the latest chicklit (Chick literature) novel to hit the NY Times Bestseller list and stay up until all hours of the night (preferably a Friday "date" night) reading it from cover to cover (I am not a fast reader) nursing a Pepsi or Red Bull along the way. I always took a shower before starting the ritual reading, fresh sheets, phone off.

Since I have been married I have read nothing but that classics (and Harry Potter). But last week I discovered a perfectly pretty pink book cover with simple type face and a sparkling engagement ring entitled Something Borrowed on my way to a collection of Truamn Capote. I loved it, couldn't put it down, and haven't stopped thinking about it since (and yes, I did go so far as putting down new sheets before starting to read). I have even cast it for a major motion picture, starring Rachel McAdams, Scarlett Johansen and Josh Duhamel.

Question du Jour

Fashion. Archuitecture. Art History. Photography. Interior Design. Creative Writing. At one point in my life, most likely high school when (unlike most of my peers) I believed I was capable of anything, I was constantly using some form of artistic expression as a source of enterntainment. I think I had a knack for it. Once, I free-handed a picture of Ursula from the Little Mermaid, it was a perfect likeness. I still have it.

I was enough of an average-achiever in college to only do what was required to graduate, I lived the "College has too much to offer to waste it in the classroom" creed so fully that I lost all track of hobbies or talents. My talent became academic bulemia, the binging and purging of information, and rapid fire papers. The culmination of these talents occured with a 50 page paper on Charles de Gaulle researched and written in less than 24 hours. I got an A- and slept through the following two days.

Now I want to be creative again. Inherently it seems stating you want to be creative makes the achievement thereof unlikely. Doesn't creativity occur spontaneously? What venue/medium do I want to use as my "outlet"?

Trading Spaces made everyone and their dog think they were interior designers (I believe sponged walls will be the decorative stamp of the turn of the millenia...what a mark!), blogs allow joe schmoe (and myself) to fancy ourselves essayists, photo shop allows an unsteady hand with no eye for lighting to alter a picture's composition, and generic scrapbookers are creating artistic masterpieces with mass produced stickers and decorative papers. So what is left for me, a self described elitist, to create which the masses are not yet attempting? Fashion.

So, the question is, should I take courses in fashion while in Paris? I love clothes. I L-O-V-E love them. Even more, I love beautiful, well made clothes with a touch of individuality and on the edge of current trends. I went to Philadelphia this weekend just to see Princess Grace's wedding dress and spent twice as much time inspecting the gown, brides maid dress, flower girl dress, and four additional pieces from the 50s, than I did wandering the halls of the European Artists circa 1850-1900. Is this my new path for channeling creativity? Could I do it? And could I do it well?

But most importantly, would I love it?

April in Paris

There are only a few things in life that I can honestly say I loathe. And one that surpasses them all in my level of hatred...traffic along I-95. I only live 15 miles from my place of work and use the carpool lanes to get there faster. Faster today was two hours later. The long ride had me wishing for two things: more sleep and Paris... April in Paris. The phrase is familiar, and if you think Paris is romantic, the notion of April in Paris is even more so.

"April in Paris/Chestnuts in blossom/Holiday tables under the trees" croons Ella Fitzgerald in the 1950's hit. It is a lovely image. I can see myself, on the Champs...any Champs, sitting under a blossoming tree, sipping some delicious beverage and eating a croissant. The sweet scent of some fragrant flower (whose name I cannot yet pronounce, let alone write) drifting in the breeze. So I read a little about the origins of the song and the writer himself. The following is from an interview with the writer, Vernon Duke:

"The whole song is a hoax...They're talking about giving me the Legion of Honor for getting so many tourists to Paris so early in the season."

And I realize...perhaps there will be traffic in Paris too.

Why I believe Paris is my soul mate

I remember the first time I met Paris. It was late on a crisp fall night. Out the metro car window I caught a fleeting glimpse of that iconic Tower. We quickly jumped off the metro, a group of 20-somethings almost skipping through the city streets like children, giddy and giggling. As we turned the corner the Eiffel Tower began to sparkle. It seemed as if the City of Lights had turned on its lights to welcome me. It was love at first sight.

Our first week together was one of fairy tales. Passerbys on the busy city streets were blurred. Like in the music videos where everything except the lead singer is in fast-forward. My thoughts became our first conversations. And I knew I would never be the same.